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14^th of February, Valentine’s Day: The celebration of love, adoration, devotion, affection, care, friendship, respect, and commitment. In my childhood time, the day was observed to celebrate the romantic form of love. Couples used to be busy getting greeting cards, flowers, chocolates, and gifts for each other, sharing their feelings on cupid day. Over the years Valentine’s Day has changed its meaning. Nowadays it has expanded to encompass not just romantic love but other forms of love too.

Every year on Valentine’s Day, kids have a celebration party at school. They prepare beautiful cards for their friends as a classroom exchange. The school always sends a reminder to every parent for sending cards for every kid if they are wishing to participate in the classroom exchange. My heart gleams to see that reminder message. Such a great and considerate message, don’t you think? Sharing love and care everywhere! Kids excitedly prepare those and wishfully take them. Every child is teaching us to spread love, kindness, and care all around. Unconditional love: is to give without expecting anything in return, unbiased love: is to share their love with everyone for that is what is real, and that is what children are teaching us.

From young children to older people, everyone around the world celebrates different forms of love on this day. It would be interesting to dive a little deep into the history to get to know the origin of Valentine’s Day.

According to history, there are a couple of stories, legends, and theories behind the origin of this festival. One theory suggests that Valentine’s Day might be a replacement for the Roman festival Lupercalia. Contrary to Valentine’s Day, Lupercalia was the bloody and violent celebration of fertility and agriculture. Which originated somewhere in the 6^th century B.C. and was celebrated every year on 15^th Feb. Churches might have decided to place Valentine’s Day in the middle of February to “Christianize” this pagan celebration.

According to the legends, more than one saint was having the name “St. Valentine” and they all were martyred. The most popular legend takes us back to February 14, around the year 270 A.D. The day when the priest named Valentine got executed by Roman emperor Claudius II. Claudius II wanted to maintain a strong army and he believed that due to men’s strong attachment to their wives and family, they were reluctant to join his forces. Hence, he banned all marriages in Rome. Priest Valentine realized this injustice. He secretly started performing marriage ceremonies for young lovers. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered his execution. St. Valentine’s death anniversary is celebrated as Valentine’s Day.

That was the brief history behind the celebration of Valentine’s Day. So, what is love? Can we encapsulate it into one definition? Is it an emotion, culture, feeling, experience, expression, or chemistry?

The question is should we define it? I think love cannot be associated with one single thing. We can love nature, love a book, love music, love many different things, love animals, and love a person or different people. Loving a person also varies from person to person. It depends on what relationship we are in. We love our kids in a different way than our parents. Love can have many different forms. According to a psychologist, Robert Sternberg’s popular paper “The triangular theory of love” published in 1986 love is composed of 3 different elements named: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy involves closeness, caring, and emotional support. Passion signifies the state of emotional and physiological attraction. Commitment involves a decision to commit to love each other and maintain the love in the relationship. Considering different combinations of these 3 elements, he described eight different forms of love which can explain the love relation in any relationship whether it is friendship or parent-love or love to your family members, or romantic love.

The beauty of love has been phenomenally expressed by our poets, philosophers, and writers for ages. I think no matter how many forms love has; it is an emotion that cannot be understood by definition and explanation. It needs to be experienced and spread across.

According to Gandhiji love is a form of “Ahimsa” and should have no conditions. As per Swami Vivekanand, it is a selfless act, it is a law of life with nothing to gain.

No matter what type of relationship we are in, one thing is vital i.e., we should love selflessly and unconditionally; love the way someone is; with an abundance of care, respect, kindness, and commitment. One should not be feeling bound by it. It should come from within, with purity, wholeheartedly. There should be no space for judgment and measurement of the love and affection one shares.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”  Mother Teresa

Love unconditionally!

Thanks

Mridulika